Why Can't I Have Amanda Seyfried's Lips?

Ask any queer person you know, and they will tell you there are two puberties in life. The first in your teen years with all the icky, bodily morphs, and a second after you come out. 

It's 2020, the year of the pandorama, and I was going through part of my second puberty.

 

Had I just come out? No. Was I discovering what it meant for me to love another man? Nope, I had already secured my husband. This was something much more insidious and unrelenting.

 

I was discovering makeup.

 

In life and in my art, I have always been drawn to the image of a woman confident in her sexuality, her beauty, and her worth. The colors that makeup adds to that image enthralled me. I wanted to look and feel that confident and sexy! I wanted to put beautiful colors on my body, too. And what says “confident, beautiful, and sexy” more than a statement red lip?

 

I love the color Red. I use it often in my art to make bold, eye-catching pieces. And now I wanted to wear a red lip boldly. I wanted to look confident and alluring (even though my husband did say he would prefer not to kiss me with the lipstick on. Fair enough). And when I wandered into my local Ulta, cargo shorts, sneakers and all, there was Amanda Seyfried on the wall wearing the exact red lip I wanted.

 

To be specific, Amanda was wearing Lancome’s L’absolu Rouge Drama Matte. It was a deep, saturated, slightly-brick red. Amanda looked absolutely commanding in it. I was stunned and needed to have it for myself. The packaging was gorgeous – the lipstick came in a bullet with a gold cap, the Lancome rose embossed on top. A promise of Red like crushed rose petals, a potion to become like Amanda Seyfried herself.

 

I awkwardly and hurriedly made my first ever makeup purchase at the counter.

 

Back home, as I approached my toothpaste-spattered mirror in the bathroom, I felt like I was about to enact a verging-on-religious ceremony. A baptism in my first ever Red lipstick! I gently uncapped the bullet and admired the soft, velvet finish of the lipstick. I held it up gently to my lips, and…swiped it on.

 

The illusion was quickly shattered. I looked hideous! This Red was all wrong. I didn’t look alluring, beautiful, or confident. I looked garish, tacky, and clown-like. I tried to keep it on for a few minutes – maybe my first impression was wrong..? A second look only confirmed my worst fears. I was doomed to never don a red lip. I recapped the magic potion, feeling duped, and tossed in the back of my bathroom drawer. Screw that!

 

Time passed, and my ego healed some, but my fascination with makeup did not. You can ask my husband for confirmation, but I will sincerely admit that I spent way too much on makeup products trying to determine what I liked, and what looked good on me. Foundation, be it sheer or full coverage, dewy or matte, cream or powder? Not for me. Some concealer though? That seemed nice. Mascara was exciting, but it over-exaggerated my already attention-seeking luscious lashes. My sweet spot seemed to be eyeshadows (any color will do – even better if it’s a shimmer!), eyeliner (I love a strong, sharp wing), and maybe some very light blush. And overtime, yes – even a lipstick or two…or ten.

 

I had learned by now that, actually, I did like the look of some lipsticks on me, especially if I created a nice eye to go with it. Blueish pink lipsticks gave me a soft, boyish look. Some cool-toned brown lipsticks helped me create a nice neutral palette. And I found a red that I really did love. It was by Lisa Eldridge (my top muse for makeup artistry and makeup products), and it was a darker, slightly more orange brick red. By now, four years had passed since I first tried to make my lips just like Amanda Seyfried’s. I learned I don’t have her lips. I had learned much about color theory, and why the Lancome red I had picked those many moons ago on my virginal outing to Ulta hadn’t been what I hoped. Not all reds are created equal. But that doesn’t mean Red isn’t for everyone.

 

By Patrick Wiggers. 6 Dec 2025.